the kierononononon kohmunikay                                             issue 5



In addition to saving your coats, this guy loves some K-holing! His name might be PHIL, because it says that on his headphones. THANKS PHIL!


we often get people asking if they can remix our stuff, so - download these remix packs and get remixing!

no one laughed REMIX PACK

...and you're not james bond either REMIX PACK

Kieronononon Q&A Session

E-mail us your questions, pictures and other random crap to . We'll choose the best of the bunch and reply to them in the next issue of kommunique. All featured e-mail writers will receive a free thing! It will probably be a copy of our new EP, but it might also be (if your e-mail is very good) a Kieronononon t-shirt or similar!

Dear Kireonononononon

My boyfriends dad last night was sure that goatboy lives next door to him. He remembers seeing you at my birthday party and swore on his life it is you. If so, would you like to come round for tea one day? Also would you mind saying hello every once in a while when you see him? Also he said you'd shaved your beard off! Isn't that a trademark look!?? Do you think you'll be successful without it?
Thanks Becky Maslen.

Goatboy: I don't believe that I attended your birthday party, so he must be mistaken.  Have there been any other symptoms?  Such as memory loss, believing a dead relative is still alive, problems with planning and organising, frequent falls, tremors, or hallucinations?
floatstarpx: goatboy didn't make it to the birthday party. Me and AwesomeKev had to eat marshmallows on our own.
Goatboy: The beard is still here, and I attribute about 70% of the success of Kierononononon to it - so it wont be going any time soon - until we do an unmasked tour like Kiss!
I'd love to go round to your boyfriends dads house for tea - and if you send a picture, I'd be more than happy to say hello once in a while, or whenever I see him. 
orta: I don't think it is his trademark look, Goat Boy actually changes his style occasionally, unlike the ever metal looking floatstarpx, he probably grew his beard and long hair in the womb and just decided to leave it like that.
AwesomeKev: It was an honest mistake. All these goats look the same.

This and the rest of our questions are all from ZeroEcho, who sent it in one huge mega email, so we've split it up into seperate questions.

Kérem a számlát, Érti?
Goatboy: There is only one member of Kieronononon who really has a working knowledge of foreign, so unless it's in GCSE French, or basic Italian, you're just going to be met with disappointment.
orta: google translates says: Helen Shep doesn't have AIDS?. Hrm, strange question.

What is your favourite computer game (I want single player and multiplayer) and why?
Goatboy: I pretty much only play games where you can level up and become all powerful and as a result not have to have any skill to complete.  So Castlevania, Final Fantasy etc.  Favourite multiplayer game is probably rockband, because rocking out in real life sometimes just doesn't cut it.  And neither, Dinosaurs all the way, but seeing as you're forcing me, robots.
floatstarpx: Favourite? Ever? F-Zero GX..
orta: AwesomeKev and I enjoy a good game of Team Fortress 2 or Left4Dead nowadays
AwesomeKev: I like it when your girlfriend takes it out of her mouth and puts it into her sisters. This doesn't tend to happen frequently, though it can sometimes happen on birthdays.
orta: Is that a multiplayer game?

Which are better, pirates, robots or ninjas?
Goatboy: Neither, Dinosaurs all the way, but seeing as you're forcing me, robots.
floatstarpx: I choose dinosaurs too.
orta: Techno Vikings....when I think of ninjas I can only think of the "ask a ninja guy", and that's hardly ninja - he's got an american accent. And robots are only cool in games, books and movies. Wow. But the one man who stands out, and stands for techno and all things rockin' is the techno viking. He gets my vote.
AwesomeKev: Well if i'm a boy I play as Dolph Lundgren. If i'm a girl I play as Grace Jones, she's all normal. They are easy charcters to role.

And if you had to liken each member of Kieronononononononononononononononononon to one of the formentioned stereotypes, who would be what?
Goatboy: Float is like a robot cause he's always right
floatstarpx: Oh yeah. Orta's like a masturbation ninja..
Goatboy: Right again.
Float*px is Sportacus, 0rta is Stephanie and GoatBoy is RobbieRotten.

"Lazy Town is supposedly a kids' show, even though no kid has EVER watched it. The show is mainly geared towards paedophiles and coma victims" []

Will Kieronon^on ever try and realise a more pop based EP to broaden their appeal past the underground? An album full of the likes of Squirting 101 and St. Jerome's would be interesting
orta: Who knows? We're still working on the next CD. It's gonna be a full-length, so we have more time to play with.
Goatboy: If we did that then we'd just be like what Jimmy Eat World would be if they woke up thinking they were the Offspring, and that would sound like dick
floatstarpx: No. And since when is Squirting 101 accessible?
orta: I think people just like the fact that they can learn nearly all the lyrics in one go. And Goatse's point is quite valid, these songs come out the way they do because thats how we feel at the time of recording, trying to force something would probably end up sucking.
floatstarpx: oh, is that the point he was trying to make?

in addition to sending us an email we were also given a guest column from Becky Maslen, this does indeed mark our first guest column that is notably off topic, but what do we care. Still unsure how you pronounce Louboutins.. - orta

I was going to write a nice column about kieronononon, however I would like to turn you attention to shoes. I am currently selling some nice shoes called Christian Louboutins. They retail at £300+ however I am selling them at a SUPREME price of only £80! I have sizes 5UK and 6UK for sale and I have 7UK and 8UK on order. If you have a girlfriend you should buy them for her because they make girls really happy. Victoria Beckham walks round in them all day, especially when she walking her dogs. Check out my ebay so kierononon are great and all that, but shoes are better. 

We were also lucky enough to have a copy of Mr Keek's top 10 Nintendo ds games.

  1.  Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
  2.  Castlevania Order of Ecclesia
  3.  Final Fantasy IV
  4.  Fifa 2008
  5.  Advance Wars
  6.  Dementium The Ward
  7.  Mariokart DS
  8.  Dragon Quest IV
  9.  Sid Meir’s Civilization
  10.  Hotel Dusk Room 21
  11.  Pete Burns Tran-Zionist adventure