the kierononononon kom-unique                                             issue 4
(but wotever) -

Well, we're all recovering from the excess and success of PXFEST 2009 - so here's ISSUE 4 of the Kieronononon Kommunique with added controversy from SPECIAL GUEST AWESOME KEV. send us more stuff - .


Long Pole, Short Line with Bob Nudd


Kieronononon ridiculously blurry dance moves picture-anecdote of the month brought to you by Kieronononon
Kieronononon Q&A Session

E-mail us your questions, pictures and other random crap to . We'll choose the best of the bunch and reply to them in the next issue of kommunique. All featured e-mail writers will receive a free thing! It will probably be a copy of our new EP, but it might also be (if your e-mail is very good) a Kieronononon t-shirt or similar!

Helen Shep has AIDS.

Who would win a fight between westoram and david morris?? - Sam Hargreaves
Goatboy: I hear that on top of his leet delegation and political skills, Peter West Oram is also a black belt in some form of martial arts.  This, along with his hot headed vengeful streak will surely be a notorious match for David Morris's invertebrate tiger style kung fu - it would be a literal clash of the titans
orta: I think I'll side with Morris, if he's a black belt he's gonna really be able to do some damage, and whilst I've heard some rumours of Peter having a real good jump-kick I'm pretty confident in my opinion.
floatstarpx: West Oram would get his celebrity friends to back him up. I don't think we should be worrying about who would win should they fight - we should be more concerned about the danger of them coming together. That would be unstoppable.

I have a question for the Kierononon^whatever: If you could be an animal, what animal would you be? I’d be a bear so I could shit on your mums. If I did that, do you think the saying would change to “Do bears shit on your mum?”? Shih Tzu Love! - Geek Punk aka Darth Canis
Goatboy: I'd be a pony
floatstarpx: I'd be a porcupine. I'm not sure why - maybe just for those cool spiny things, and the fact you'd get to live in a hole. They live in holes, right? I'm pretty certain that a single bear-shitting incident wouldn't change a saying - but there's only one way to put that to the test.
orta: I think I'd like to be an octopus. All they ever seem to do is rock out. Did you see that video of an octopus owning a shark? That was leet.
floatstarpx: the thing with octopuses is - almost every year, they find one that's bigger. maybe one day they'll find out that the whole planet is basically a giant octopus, but without any legs. hey - what's the difference between an octopus and a squid??
goatboy: I don't know - what is the difference between an octopus and a squid?
floatstarpx: no, there's no punchline. I just wanted to know. I'll e-mail it to ourselves anonymously for the next Komm, unless someone beats me to it, and sends it in un-anonymously.
Kev: Helen Shepherd
orta: Thats a pretty strange animal Kev...

Dear poo, Are you poo? From poo. [Excit0r.]

Goatboy: No!
orta: hrm, I don't think I am.
floatstarpx: I don't really understand, but thanks for playing!
orta: Maybe he is?
floatstarpx: Well, it was sent by Poo - so yes.
Kev: Excit0r's girlfriend touched px's balls

Is it possible to rape your wife? - Awesome Kev
Goatboy: Before 1991, the marital rape was exempt from the British legal system.  This was because Christian doctrine states that the wife freely gives her body over to her husband, and likewise, the husband gives his body over to his wife.  This ownership made raping a spouse a logical impossibility. Further, St Paul stated that the wife should not hold back, except in times of fasting or prayer, as it may lead to temptation from Satan.
However, since the birth of rational thought, and the movement away from the use of religious dogma as a moral template, modern legislation such as the declaration of human rights has attempted to abolish violence against women, which includes the raping of a spouse.  It could be argued that the psychological effects of being raped by a stranger are far worse than those from being raped by someone you have already engaged in sexual acts with, but it is the prerogative of the victim rather than the attacker or casual observer to decide.  In short, legally, prior to 1991 it wasn't possible, but it now is.
orta: An interesting question, I wonder if goatse took that direct from wikipedia. Personally I'll side with with the bible and say that "wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife" - thanks religous bigots!!!!
Goatboy: I used Wikipedia, but also used my leet analytic skills to reach different conclusions
floatstarpx: Goatboy's answer was so long I didn't even read it

Goatboy's bites!

Kierononononon Special

This month in Goatboy's bites, a traditional dish for helping in the creation of brutaltechnopunk.
You will need:
  • 2 tins of baked beans per three people (Sainsburys own or Branston are best)
  • 2 Lidl Potato Waffles per person
  • 2 Slices of bread per person
  • 4 Hashbrowns per person
  • 4 Linda McCartney sausages (optional)
  • Lidl Indian Snack Pack (optional)
  • Chilli or tobasco Sauce (optional)
  • 1Tbs extra virgin olive oil
  • 200g of grated cheese (optional)
To make this great meal, you must be Goatboy or be the Goatboy substitute. Preheat oven to 200ºC (200ºF, Gas mark 6) and arrange Hashbrowns and Indian snacks (optional) on a non stick tray.  Once the oven is hot enough, place the tray on the middle shelf of the oven.
After ten minutes, turn on the grill to full power and place the potato waffles on a wire rack and put under the grill.  Whilst the waffles are grilling, empty the tins of beans into a saucepan and place it on a medium temperature hob.  Gently heat some extra untouched sweet petite aching virgin olive oil and shallow fry the juicy big fat throbbing sausages, stirring occasionally
Now flip over the hashbrowns (use a spatula or fish slice because they will be very hot) and do the same to the waffles once they are a golden colour.
When the beans begin to simmer, you may add the chilli or tobasco sauce if you wish (not for the faint hearted).
When the sausages are crispy all over, cut them into slices and add them to the beans and place the bread on top of the waffles in the oven (remember to turn the bread once the top is toasted).  Get your PX, or whoever is your PX substitute to begin making the tea at this point!
Once the bread has toasted, remove and spread butter (or soya margarine).  Arrange both slices of bread on a plate and place the potato waffles on top.  Pour the beans and sausages on top of the waffles and toast, and arrange the hashbrowns either on top of the beans or around the toast.  Place the Indian snacks around the bread and waffles and finally add cheese on top of the beans.  Tea should be ready now - enjoy baby!
(Make sure your orta, or your orta substitute knows to wash up the dishes afterwards!)